Time to think

During dinner on Wednesday I looked up at the calendar and was stunned to see that I’ve been living with my host family for over a month. I’ve been in Russia for almost six weeks. It really doesn’t seem like it’s been that long, but it never does. While I say that is hasn’t been that long, it’s hard to fathom how much I have experienced in the last six weeks. Williams, Summit and Boston have actually begun to feel like they’re on the other side of the planet, not just a ten-hour plane ride away. Every member of my group has experienced that moment when they realise they’re in Russia. Really realise. For me it happens on metro; the surroundings will slap me across the face and those once unfamiliar stimuli will again flood my senses for a moment. I’ve grown incredibly accustomed to life here, I’m falling into a routine like anywhere else in the world, and I’m realising that that’s pretty amazing.

So there were no organised excursions this weekend and I’ve been had more time to brood and ponder. To be honest, since Wednesday I’ve been doing it more than usual and it’s been great. While the words ‘finding myself’ have become so worthless among British gap year students that I want no association with them, I’m beginning to sympathise with their intended meaning. Growing up isn’t something that happens by itself and every person has to figure out how they’re going to make that leap to maturity. So here’s where I introduce my metaphor: Of modern education as a highway to success. A literal highway. No one on this highway starts with a destination and at first you’re just told to pass the other cars. But if you’re always in the passing lane and not paying attention to where you’re going then you’re probably missing the point of the highway. Highways are built to get people where they want to go, faster. And life in the passing lane is fast, any student can tell you that. But how many college students know what exit they want to take off the highway? I’m not going to count medical and law schools, a person can spend another 6 years going as fast as they can with no discernable destination. So what have I been thinking about and why have I invented this elaborate metaphor? Well I was on the highway in cruise control, spending most of my time looking straight ahead. I decided to take the exit for study abroad and that brought me to St. Petersburg. I’m in a new and exciting neighbourhood and the time off the highway is giving me a chance to stop and think.

Russia is the third country that I’ve lived in for an extended period of time. Having an impression of life in this third country is allowing me to develop wholly new impressions of the people around me and of myself. Moving back to America two years ago was a transformational experience. As I gained more of an impression of what it meant to be American, I started to contrast who I was in the US with the person I had been in England. And people change, I certainly changed. Now that I’m in Russia, I feel like this process is happening all over again, to a whole new degree. We know from science that there’s nothing to be learned from a group of two items, you need at least three to determine any meaningful common characteristics. Now that I have a third item – Russia – I feel like I can really figure some stuff out. So this weekend I’ve drifted off in thought during my history reading and gone through old stuff on my computer to remember the person that I was just four years ago. How often does a person stop and take a moment to think about the person they are, or figure out what’s really important to them? This weekend I’ve taken the time to look in my rear-view mirror and to think about the places that the highway has already taken me.

Perhaps this post is making me sound more pensive than I’ve actually been. I haven’t been sitting around thinking all weekend, I’m not a philosopher. (At least I can tell you that much!) What I’m saying is that studying abroad has been an amazing experience so far and I’ve learned as much outside the classroom as in it. Few people nowadays find somewhere that they’ll spend the rest of their life, but hopefully next time I get on the highway I’ll have some idea what exit I want to take.